Facebook Withdrawals - Day 3

                     Not being melodramatic, but that picture kindof sums it up for many of me (and likely many of us). I don't know how many times I've picked up my phone and habitually clicked on certain parts of my screen only to find that I've actually deleted the app and I have no way of accessing it because my husboo has changed my password and deactivated it himself. Introspections that I've had regarding my decision to give up Facebook for a year include:

         1. I'm kindof afraid that I won't be able to stay connected to key people anymore. (Translated - I won't be able to creep on people's walls in order to be excited about life events that I normally don't get included in because I don't actually stay that well in touch with them and vise versa.)

         2. But really though, there are some people who I won't be able to be in touch with because I'm not on Facebook anymore. (Translation - All the things that Facebook is amazing for, like overseas communication won't be at my fingertips. For example, watching my cousins in the Philippines grow up and do awesome things with their lives. That might actually mean calling them or Skyping them! What are era are we in? Medieval times?!) 

         3. I won't be able to read the perspectives of different voices regarding current events particularly relating to the socio-political issues I care deeply about. (Translation - All those deep-thinking articles and clever MEMEs will no longer be at my fingertips. I'll actually have to do the hard work of digging for that information myself. O.M.G. Lord, Have Mercy.) 

           But some fun fruit has already come of my decision. I find myself needing to do things. Things that are constructive and consciously different from the ways that Facebook was a part of my life. For the first time in 7 months I've turned on NPR and just listened. Today, I didn't bury my head in the proverbial sand of my phone and chose to ask my mother how her work day was. It was pleasant (I really need to do that more). I then proceeded to coerce my mom to do a 40min cardio workout with me. Now THAT was a first time. We high-fived. She felt like a badass, and I giggled because we had some bonding time.

Proof that it happened :-D 

          It's just day 3, and knowing myself, all these things could be a fleeting fancy. Two weeks is usually my max for enthusiasm when I do new things that are supposed to "improve" my life. That's the wonderful thing about this Facebook fast of sorts - I don't have a choice of logging in again. So let's see what happens! 

P.S. Gregory and I got a puppy. Her name is Ginny, after Ginny Weasley. 

       And that's Buddy, our family dog. He's big. She's small. It's super cute.

     

     P.P.S. Would love to hear any of your personal revelations & introspection if you've taken a hiatus from Facebook. 

Imago Dei: My small ode to AAPI heritage month

To my beautiful Asian brothers & sisters who live in a reality that demands so much of them - as women, as exotified, orientalized play-things, as fobbish, American, American-ish, wife, wife-to-be, -- should be, can't be, single & seeking, single & not seeking; As men, too feminine, too slim, too small, too short, emasculated, Jackie Chan look-a-like, must have a black belt; daring-to-dream big, pushing the boundaries of your culture - their culture, standing on shoulders of immigrant legacies daring to dream for pies in the sky, never catching a break, meeting standards and expectations, upholding roles and traditions, breaking tradition, making new traditions while trying to keep honor and avoid shame. Believing in your strength and capacity without disrespecting your elders. No one pausing to ask if you're okay. Buzzing forward at 10,000 mph, attempting perfection. In everything. Teetering between two worlds. Tottering between glimmering new horizons & beautiful, must-be-preserved customs. Forgetting parts of yourself to fit in. Rejecting parts of yourself to make it.

Breathe. Remember to choose yourself.

The self that feels complete. 

Pizza-eating, kimchi-munching, Asian-sitting, not-Harvard-bound, basket-ball loving self.

You are Imago Dei. Beautiful. Just as you are.

No less. No more.

All those voices will be there when you return to the mire.

Hold tight to your soul, lest you become only but a shadow of your true self.

It can take years to recover the pieces.

It can take decades to render the original canvas and know what it once was and is meant to be.

Breathe. Remember to choose yourself.

The self you know is 100%

Fork-only-eating, Taglish-only-speaking, Westernized, male Feminist, progressive self.

You are Imago Dei. Beautiful. Just as you are. 

No less. No more. 

Rend your soul from the grasp of those who give nary a glance at the precious cargo they've taken hold of. Who consume you and discard you. Who know you, but don't know YOU. Whose conscience is dim to the glorious readable chapters of your novel. Not just the chapters of the "American Dream" saga, where you can read about Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Lucy Liu, Harold & Kumar, the art of telemarketing and eating dog. It includes the appendix citing Japanese Internment, Domestic Worker exploitation, Refugee status, Aloo Gobi, 1947 Partition, Fish sauce & Dinogoan, Hawaii's illegal annexation, Comfort women & Islamophobia. It includes the footnotes about bi-cultural identity in a hyper-racialized world, intersectionality, and what the acronym AAPI stands for. 

Choose yourself.

Imago Dei.

Beautiful.

Just as you are.

In honor of AAPI Heritage month

Inspired by Kathy Khang's blog post:

http://www.kathykhang.com/2016/05/19/mental-health-aapi-awareness-month/#comment-3452