Patience (Recycled wisdom falling fresh)...

I'm learning so much these days...

Isn't it so true though? Deep in the core of who I am, I want to know that I have full direction of my life and everything in it. It breaks down quickly when I fixate on one of my deepest desires as a human in community to experience genuine love. I have zero control over my externals - who laughs at my jokes, who tells me I'm smart, who says I'm beautiful, who breaks my trust, who slanders my name or who offends me and mine. But I can lead myself in the way of love, to be the best example towards those I love and to those who I have difficulty loving. And I believe that love begins with patience. 

"Love will inspire you to become a patient person. When you choose to be patient, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation. You are slow to anger. You choose to have a long fuse instead of a quick temper. Rather than being restless and demanding, love helps you settle down and begin extending mercy to those around you. Patience brings an internal calm during an external storm...Patience gives [people] permission to be human." 

Patience is like a rock you're trying to push up a hill. Striving to get somewhere, you'd rather leave it behind and run straight forward with all that you have to offer. For me, that would honestly mean that I offer a short fuse, snipey words, lack of understanding and mercy for any opposing community, person or circumstance which comes my way. The world, already pretty messed up doesn't deserve one more person ready to snap.  So patience it is. It's not an inherent characteristic. But boy has there never been a better time to learn it than when I became married. But it's worth it's weight in gold, and more valuable than any precious metal. 

You see, I committed to Gregory Denis Lipumano-Smith till death do us part. 

That is fo-eva.

 

Our dating relationship could not have even projected the kind of perseverance it would take to be teammates in life!  

In my short span of living and experience, I've found that patience is one of 2 cornerstones of love. The other is kindness.  

But now, I don't have an out (nor do I want one). Pending exceptional circumstances, divorce is not an option.

Soooooo...

Patience is what it's going to take, because patience requires all of the things counter-intuitive to my impulses.

Self-sacrifice instead of selfishness.

Humility instead of Arrogance. 

Willing to be wrong instead of needing to be right.

Winning a brother/sister instead of winning an argument. 

Dialogue instead of Divisiveness.

Understanding instead of Bull-dogging. 

Empathy/Sympathy instead of Cold-shouldering.

Forgiveness instead of holding grudges. 

Working through instead of walking out. 

Serving instead of demanding to be served. 

Mercy instead of condemnation. 

Grace instead of getting even. 

Re-building trust instead of Building up walls. 

Loving instead of hating. 

I pray that I strive for nothing less. 

(How Gregory exhibits patience after I've righteously annoyed him and am trying to apologize.)

Thank you to the dozens of people who have taught me so much about patience - parents, husband, family, friends, mentors, etc...